Monday, January 5, 2009

First day back at work: I want to go home!!!

What a holiday! I had a beautiful Christmas day and anticipated just a week and a half off work. Instead I've been working nonstop!

Now I'm back at work again and absolutely wrecked!

J has already gone home sick and I want to follow him! Maybe I'll beg off early.

I started the day with a cup of miso and two bowls of rice porridge with 2 dried apricots. Then I had a cup of ginkgo to see me on my way.

When I got to the office my colleague had brought me dark chocolate. Thoughtful but um... no. So I chopped it up to share and put it out with some sugarfree mints.

Now I'm on my second coffee (served weaker than last year's and with just a splash of hazelnut flavoured rice milk) and I've filled the jug with my grapefruit juiced cold water.

Can I go home to bed now?

I'm not hungry but I've brought plenty of food and snacks and stuff for if I want it later. Actually I'm too tired to be hungry!

I did a little bit of skipping rope this morning as promised but it just made me feel really dizzy like I was detoxing or something - so goodness knows what I've done to myself over the break but obviously I need to eat much more organically rather than just diet coke and chewing gum!

2:41 pm

I had my lunch of 2 pieces of tofu in crackers as sandwiches. I think it was about 250 Cals plus of course coffee, some sweets and this morning's breakfast bringing me up to about 650.

I'm ready to go home and lie down now. When can it be the end of the day? Hey J I hope you're feeling better!


Dinner: It came, I pretended to want it, I ended up bingeing because I didn't want to think about it, and I purged.

From now on I need to trust my instincts about food - including throwing it out if need be!

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