Friday, December 19, 2008

Still grey: Diary for 19 December 2008

5:40 am | BMI: 18.3 (basically the same weight as yesterday)

This morning I'm just doing some light exercises before work, focusing on stretching, dips and plies and some sit-ups.

Still not much appetite.

I'm supposed to go home for the weekend but now I'm looking at the sheer volume of work I've got to get through and panicking a little. I'm sure it will be fine...

6:35 am

For breakfast: half a dried banana and some earl green tea.

Did some light exercise and will follow up with the walk to work and some proper cardio tonight.

Currently feeling... nothing. Just a bit tired in the head. No appetite, no real mood or motivation to speak of. I think I'll do well at work today cranking out the meaningless bits of paper that form the basis of our income.

9:19 am

I made it to work in my highest heels and even went to the supermarket. They had my favourite candy in the world which is gluten-free licorice! I've already had 2 pieces (they're 17 cals each so that's 34).

I also bought a little bottle of juice and poured half into my jug when I got here (77 cals)

Including the banana I'm up to 161 which is a good start. I'm about to tuck into a ginkgo tea and I'm already right into it. I've got a vegetable juice for later and I also bought plenty of binge-proof high-fibre foods although eating still makes me feel pretty sick so I'm unlikely to binge.

10:36 am

I've got some appetite back and I just had about 1/3 of a packet of vegetable senbei. (80 cals) this brings me up to 242 already. I feel kind of guilty though.

12:19 pm

I'm having my lunch.

I started with a licorice (17 Cals) and then had half a veggie juice before I had to stop (too salty!!!) (23 Cals)
So I'm finishing with a black sesame senbei (they're 25 Cals each) and now I just feel restless and bingey. I'll see if a green chai helps to sort it out. I'm not getting much work done today!

2:35 pm

J came by the office for a quick coffee during lunch. The boss was out so it was all cool. He had a coffee, I had green tea and 2 vegie senbei (23 Cals). I've now refilled my water jug including the rest of my juice bottle (77 Cals) and I've put out a licorice to eat at some point during the afternoon (17 Cals). But I'm not hungry. The running total though is 424.

3:30 pm

Just realised how much I've spoiled myself today! My favourite candy, my favourite juice! My boyfriend dropping in for coffee! This is a great sign!

I haven't really held back today and I haven't overdone it either. I have to work a bit late so I hope that plus the gym doesn't cut into date night much.

5:00 pm

It's getting to that point where I'm not hungry, I'm not fainty, I'm not even thinking about food but I'm sooooo tired! I'm thinking about bed but I won't be leaving here for quite some time!

So I don't know... maybe another cup of tea? All I really want to do is go OUT and get some fresh air! The office air is so dehydrating! I've had around 5L of water today just from my jug!

Oh well, back to the paperwork I guess. For now.

6:30 pm ON A FRIDAY and STILL at work!!!

Well OK so what if I'm a total masochist and I love working?

I was really fading around 5:30 and had another candy (17 Cals). They're so yummy!!!

My running total is now 441 and I feel SOO fat and bloated from all the sugar I ate today! For dinner I just want to have something really light and healthy with lots of vitamins.

And in conclusion

I had a lovely dinner and my appetite did come back in the end.  I had 2 Vietnamese cold rolls and a few pieces of tofu and noodles then ate a bunch of leftover rice crackers I brought home from work and 2 pieces of licorice for dessert.  The Daily Plate says cold rolls are only 60 cals but I'd be willing to at least double that - they're pretty yummy! So maybe 1000 Cals for the day (could that be right? I felt so full!) and to finish it off, an hour or so dancing at a club where a friend of ours was spinning hip hop!

No comments: