I don't know how much I ate today because for a time I snacked as I cooked and fretted. Then I realised that all this energy is misplaced. I don't need to wallow in my eating disorder, instead I need to make the choice each and every moment to direct my energy more productively.
So instead of counting my calories and berating myself all day I really faced my fears. I prepared 2 dozen cold spring rolls before I was ready to phone lifeline and beg for help but then I remembered earlier in the day when I finally sat to begin my book and I wrote about the importance of choosing to leave obsession behind and trusting my conscious mind to make rational decisions on how much to eat, exercise and rest.
I would like to start a meditation class and I would like to free myself from the terrible grip food has over me. Freedom is my choice. It is standing up to declare the emperor is naked. Well food, you are naked! Your power is a collective delusion. I believe in the power of these words. I beat depression and I will defeat food!