Monday, December 29, 2008

Exhausting family effort

Tonight I fed my family, wrote my grandfather's eulogy with details supplied by his wife and son (I hate collaborative writing but I think we produced good work) and touched base with my mum about how I've handled things with my daughter and her dad.

I'm sorry to say I did snack a bit on toffee, crackers and nuts to get through it all.

I was thinking "the food doesn't make you think more clearly or solve emotional stress" but I had felt myself getting fatter all day (I could feel my clothes getting tighteer and my thighs rubbing) and I was discouraged. I even went back for seconds after dinner and had a bottle of cider!

Now it's night and I feel so wrong without J that I could just run home to him right now. Everyone has got their suits and things out in preparation for tomorrow so there's nothing to do in the morning but wait.

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